Coming Out Tonight?

There are several problems with being a furry. Many of these exist within the community itself, but there is probably a greater problem. Explaining to other people that you are a furry.

Luckily, my immediate family are somewhat open minded. They know that I am a furry and don’t seem to mind (except when I spend too much on it). My friends also don’t mind, particular those at my university. In fact, it has been here that I’ve first met furries in real-life and not just over the web. However, something came up recently which put a new spin on things.

My parents spotted something I posted on another website. It was not furry, but the conversation I had with them later moved into the subject. They said that while they are open minded, many people are not as understanding. In particular, I dare say that most people are not aware about the existence of the furry fandom. Explaining the furry fandom to someone who has never heard it before. You imagine the conversation:

• Furry: I’m a furry.
• Non-furry: What’s a furry?
• Furry: Someone who likes anthropomorphic animals. Like Sonic the Hedgehog, Bugs Bunny and that.
• Non-furry: So what do you do then?
• Furry: Well, some write stories, others draw art or comic strips. Some make costumes and many attend conventions.
• Non-furry: Hang on; there are conventions for this sort of thing?
• Furry: Yeah, all over the place.
• Non-furry: And you “furries” dress up as animals at these places?
• Furry: Some do, some don’t.
• Non-furry: Sounds a bit weird if you ask me.
• Furry: Bits are, but then again that is one of the beauties of it. We furries tend to be much more open about ourselves than most people.
• Non-furry: Open how?
• Furry: Well, in our opinions, our relationships and so forth.
• Non-furry: Open in your relationships? Are you all into free love or something?
• Furry: I’m not, but the furry fandom is a diverse group sexually. Most people think we’re mainly gay, but most are actually bisexual.
• Non-furry: So does that mean you lot like to have sex dressed up as animals?
• Furry: Some do, some don’t. Personally, I think that question’s a bit personal.
• Non-furry: But you don’t deny that you do?
• Furry: Like I said, that question is very personal, somewhat offensive and I’d think it is best I don’t answer it.
• Non-furry: Right…

Now that is a tricky conversation to be in. Imagine how much worse it would be if you were in a job interview, and someone asked you what your interested were. If someone got the wrong end of the stick about what you were talking about, that conversation might put you out of a job. It could also harm your chances of making friends and may harm relationships with you family. Maybe that is why so many furries have relationships with other members of the fandom.

Anyway, the conversation I had with my parents did lead me to take certain precautions. I removed some of my more “yiffy” material from my Fur Affinity account (a job that would be a lot easier if the site did not keep going down). Incidentally, if my parents are reading this, and want to know more about this “yiffy” material, my advice is don’t, otherwise it would lead to a much longer conversation.

My point is that due to the worries and prejudices that other people have, this means that it is hard for furries to be open. As a result, I am less open about my furry tastes. This for me is somewhat upsetting for me because there are certain things that I am now worried about talking about.

Speaking as a media student, I believe that in the current climate, the only way to avoid attack is to either be incredibly secretive and not let anyone know about your interest (i.e. Not letting anyone know at all), or being completely open about everything, telling everyone about every aspect and just don’t worry about what people think (i.e. Letting as many people as possible know via as many possible channels). I personally prefer the latter method because if you tell them everything, they cannot incriminate you later, even though it risks unpopularity. That would be my advice to any furry that was to become famous.

I suppose that the reasons for my own behaviour and “self-censorship” are a combination of worry and cowardice. I am happy to admit I did not want to do what I did, but then again at least it has given me time to move into other projects in the fandom. I have started to write what I hope will be a book called The Chained Wolf Presents: The History of Humanity – A Somewhat Mildly Amusing Guide to a Now Extinct Species (If published, I hope I might get mentioned in the Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title of the Year. Granted, I don’t accept awards, but it would be nice publicity).

In the end, I would say that when coming out, be prepared to expect some criticism, but remember that it is your right to be who you are.